The Married Couple on Campus
Time to get a little bit more real with you guys. It’s easy to write about fashion and clothes and fun vacations. What they don’t tell you however, is that with marriage comes challenges. Challenges you would have never anticipated.
When me and my husband met, I was the new kid on the block, but he was more than settled in. He had tons of friends ranging from his housemates to the neighbors, and his school classmates. I had transferred in from another University, leaving all my friends and my beloved city behind, to move on the a real and better career.
I was so nervous that first day, moving in to a dorm where I knew no one, living in a place with freshman when I was already onto my third year of school. Strangely enough, everything started off great. It’s actually a pattern I’ve noticed. Beginnings are… easy! You say hello, introduce yourself, talk about a few superficial things. Relate and connect on the most basic level.
And that’s exactly what I did. I met all of my husbands friends, and met their friends – networked through the Jewish community. I felt like time was racing and I always had somewhere to be. I couldn’t be alone in my dorm room for a second because I couldn’t possibly miss out on all the ‘action’.
As my relationship with my husband progressed, and school began to pick up, I suddenly found myself with them less time and less energy to put myself out there. And things started slowing down, really quick. I had made those preliminary connections, but I had no motivation to secure those relationships and delve deeper. I had to make a choice: school and boyfriend, or school and friends.
Obviously, I chose my husband. And he made the same choice.
Of course, there’s no regret on either end (I think). We loved each other and saw a future that was worth pursuing. And were so happy to be together. But it comes with a price.
We’re the married couple on campus. And one of the only ones.
Our University is filled with kids a lot younger than us. Anyone we knew or were friendly with has graduated at this point (we both started our majors late in the game). People we are surround by are concerned with how much they can drink and still make it on time to 8 AM lecture.
We don’t have a community, and that’s a hard thing to endure your first year of marriage. We’re just in the process of transitioning to adulthood and starting our own lives, yet we are stuck in a world that has none of that. We can’t move on just yet, and it can be frustrating.
I know a lot of bloggers on instagram who show off their designer brands seem perfect, who knows? But I’m not. Life isn’t perfect. It’s just about making the most you can with the situation you are in.
We can’t quit school, and we’ve got to stay somewhat local to class. Its unfortunate that we don’t have the opportunity to meet other young couples. But that doesn’t mean we are going to quit trying.
It isn’t easy making new friends and starting a community from scratch. But it’s something we have to do, and we’re accepting the challenge.
Because at the end of the day, no matter how hard things get, we always have each other to fall back on. Not everyone can say that. It’s tough, but no matter how lonely it can feel, I always know I am not alone because my husband is right besides me, through and through.
From this point on, I never have to go through anything alone.